My name is James. I was on YouTube, looking for some cool battles between different characters. I was looking for Pacman vs Agent G (House of the Dead character) hypothetical battles, when I suddenly came across an unusual video. It was called "Has Goku Met His Match???". I instantly connected this with the main character from the Dragon Ball franchise. I clicked on it, and was suddenly greeted with a gruesome depiction of a dead Goku with three characters standing on his dead body. Whilst I was looking at this image, a dude was narrating, saying:
"These ancient characters have been overlooked in the art of comparing characters through battles. One of the strongest characters we know, Goku from Dragon Ball, drops in rank as I will introduce these old characters. I hear you saying, 'what the? how can this be'? Well, stay tuned and you'll see how these three characters and their insane power-up mode can beat Goku, no matter how many super saiyan forms and kaiokens and fusions he does!"
This was interesting, but the video was really long. By watching the video, I learned that the characters that can beat Goku are the 3 main characters from Nickelodeon's T.V. series "Butt-Ugly Martians" (B-Bop A-Luna, 2T Fru-T, and Do-Wah Diddy). They are obscure, but powerful. In the show, the trio can utilize BKM (Butt-kicking mode), a special power only found in that show, to beat up all the enemies. This form is only overshadowed by an even more overpowered form change, called ULTRA BKM MODE! Not only does this increase their power to break-neck levels, but it has cool visuals and a motto during the change. The line sends shivers down my spine, "We were send to conquer planet Earth, our mission now is to protect it". At the end of the video, it showed a bar graph comparing the power levels of Goku and the Butt-Ugly Martians. Goku's bar reached the top, but the martians bar was rising so high, it had to shrink Goku's bar until it looked like a pixel on my monitor. The video then linked to a video that I now regret clicking on.
From the thumbnail, I gathered that the Goku was going to fight the Martians. I foolishly clicked on it, expecting an epic battle, but I got something horrifying. The instant I clicked on it, I was greeted with the three Martians' silhouettes standing on a hill, with Goku below them. The Martians yelled, "We got one chance, so let's make this ultra!"
They raised one arm in the air and said, "B-K-M ULTRA!!"
The cool transformation sequence played, and the Martians looked powered up. Goku, foolishly underestimating the forces of destruction in front of him and not knowing what horrors awaited him in this video, said, "Alright, looks like this might be a fair fight!"
When the transformation ended, they were staring at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. Suddenly, Do-Wah Diddy instantly teleported behind Goku and, before Goku could react, decked him to the floor. Goku screamed in agony as he was being held down. 2T Fru-T flew into the air, aiming for Goku and deployed an Ultra EMP Bolt. Right when the projectile was about to hit the pinned-down Goku, the Martian restraining him teleported away and Goku was hit with the devastating force of the Ultra EMP Bolt. More severe screams played. It was at this point I realized that Goku was in over his head as he was being dominated by the Martians before he could even do a form change.
Suddenly, a familiar character came out of nowhere. I realized that this was Krillin, another character from Dragon Ball. He said, "Goku, eat this senzu bean!"
A bean was launched into Goku's mouth and he instantly began to eat it. The Martians didn't like this, so B-Bop A-Luna charged and fired an Ultra Beam at Krillin. The beam moved faster than light as it instantly vaporized Krillin. It was as if he was there in 1 frame, then gone the next. Goku screamed even louder, causing my ears to bleed, at the sight of his friend's death. Goku powered up a couple times until his hair was blue and then he teleported behind the Martian that decked him to the floor, hoping to deliver a counter-attack. The Martian saw through this and non-chalantly predicted, anticipated, and delivered an Ultra Uppercut at the area Goku would appear. His dumbass got sent into space while he screamed so loud, my glasses broke.
Goku slammed into the moon, blood bursting from his mouth. A moment later, the 3 Martians appeared in a close proximity to Goku above him in mid-air, each prepared to deliver an Ultra Punch on his body. Goku winced, preparing for the worst. Goku was pummeled into the lunar surface whilst his ear-destroying screams played. After 5 minutes of this savage beating, the Martians floated away from the body, but you couldn't even tell it was a body unless you watched the first 3 minutes of this cursed video. All that was left was the 3 Martians, a big moon crater, and a big red spot in the center of it.
The Martians powered down. The leader reflected on this situation, saying, "Haha, that was easy".
They agreed on it and floated away, but before they left the screen. One of them looked directly at me with a creepy grin and said, "We were send to conquer planet Earth, our mission now is to KILL JAMES."
I instantly smashed my computer and monitor hearing this. This video depicted graphic depictions of violence and death threats. I now live in my house alone, in fear, after I killed my roommate in the same manner as Goku died in the cursed video. Every time the doorbell rings, I sweat and shake violently as I look through the peephole, dreading the sight of 3 Butt-Ugly Martians...